Wednesday, November 3, 2010

HELP! ONBOARD SQUISHED AND SEATED NEXT TO FATSO

You're seated comfortably on the airplane in your economy seat watching the hysterical passenger comedy show. For fifteen minutes, multitudes of characters struggle while boarding the plane.  You shake your head and giggle as fellow passengers desperately lift, shove and push their oversized carryon items into overhead bins.

Mothers drag their unhappy, screaming, whining, teary eyed, booger nose toddlers to their seats. Husbands fuss and complain to their wives, "You bring too much crap every time we go somewhere!" First time flyers aimlessly walk down the aisle looking for their seat assignment. Business men feel a sense of entitlement to stop and stand in the aisle for five minutes as they slowly search for their charts and proposals in their computer bags while discussing tomorrows golf tee times with their associates. Movement in the aisle is brought to a halt until the business men have accomplished their unncessary tasks.

Two self proclaimed divas with frozen botox foreheads, resilin injected puffy lips, short skimpy dresses with tanned freckled silicon enhanced triple D boobies engage in a screaming cat fight over the last bit of overhead bin space for their shopping bags filled with Jimmy Choo shoes and Coach purses. 

Next, you notice an obese man squeezing his way past rows of seats. He weighs about 400lbs and walks sideways down the airplane's narrow aisle. The man grunts and groans, "Man, these airlines are making the aisles and seats smaller all the time." Sweaty rolls of fat and blubber bump and rub against the heads and shoulders of people seated in aisle seats while he searches for his row.

His jiggly tummy protrudes more than Santa's belly and falls somewhere near his knees. His behind is wide like a Grey Hound bus. Three inches of his curly brunette hairy butt crack and gray checkered boxers protrude from his sagging pants. His "assets" are on display for the world to see.

You see him approaching your row. You panic and rapidly look around to see how many empty seats are available, praying that fatso doesn't sit beside you. Suddenly you notice there are very few empty seats  onboard the plane.

The flight attendant announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're expecting a full flight." You cringe and look at the empty middle seat beside you and silently pray, "Oh Lawd, please don't let this guy sit beside me." The  fatso stops beside your row, wipes the beads of sweat off of his forehead, makes eye contact with you and says, "Excuse me, I'm going to take that middle seat next to you."

He plops down and sits beside you. Next, he lifts the two armrests and squishes his clammy lumps, bumps and rolls into his seat and a portion of  your seat. He inhales deeply as he stuggles to connect his seatbelt extension. You feel his damp body squish against your shoulders, ribs, hips and thighs.

You have no room to cross you legs, stretch, change sleeping positions, or comfortably read an InStyle magazine. You're pinned into what's left of your seat. You close your eyes and think, I have to endure this for the next three hours.What do you do?

Your safety and comfort is the number one priority for commercial airlines. Indeed, airlines are aware of the growing number of obese passengers traveling in the US. Several airlines have adopted a "customer of size" policy within the last four years.

In fact, a popular low fare airline requires obese passengers to purchase two seats if they crowd their seatmates or cannot sit in a seat with both armrests facing down. As a matter of fact, in the spirit of customer service, the low fare airline will refund the cost of the second seat if every seat on the flight isn't sold.

Although airline ground employees are trained in confronting obese passengers before they board a plane to ensure a second ticket has been purchased, not all are willing to approach obese customers due to fears of insulting, embarrasing or hurting the customer's feelings. Several airline employees turn a blind eye to the fat guy.

Certainly, addressing weight issues are a sensitive and "touchy" topic for Americans. In addition, several obese passengers are familiar with airline policies that require them to purchase a second seat, but refuse to do so and take their chances while boarding a plane silently hoping that an airline employee will not ask him to purchase a second seat.

Consequently, when airline employees refuse to confront obese passengers before they board a plane,or obese passengers fail to adhere to the airline's customer of size policy, the problem soon falls into your lap, the lap of a valued customer.

It isn't safe or fair to endure hours of discomfort due to sharing a seat with an obese passenger. After all, you've paid for a seat for one, not one to share with an oversized person. If you encounter a customer of size issue while flying on a commercial airline, you must do the following before the flight takes off.

IMMEDIATELY:

1. Discreetly notify the flight attendant of the problem.

2. Ask the flight attendant to reseat you or the customer of size.

3. If the flight attendant refuses to address the problem, demand to speak with a customer service supervisor or the Captain immediately.

4. If the flight is completely full and the seating arrangement cannot be changed, request customer service to place you on the next flight to your destintion with a positive space seat. Do not accept a standby seat.

5. Write down the date, time, flight number and names of the employees you addressed your concerns with and write the airline a complaint letter stating that a customer of size boarded a plane and was not required to purchase a second seat.

In fact, when the airline is made aware of the problem, they are able to track ground employees that continue to ignore or refuse to enforce customer of size policies. In addition, the airline may compensate you for the inconvenience.

6. Choose to be proactive. If you notice an obese passenger waiting to board your flight, discreetly notify a customer service employee in the gate area. He or she can look into the computer system to ensure a customer of size second seat was purchased on the flight. Notifying the ground employees before boarding begins will alleviate the hassle and embarrasment often endured after everyone is seated on the plane.

Safe Travels.
~theflygirl











 

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